Journal last updated: Monday, June 11th 2018 at 9:05 AM
I think when I grow up I'll become a book about the history of people cracking their knuckles. That way, cows won't feel like they have to smear cinnamon on the foreheads of elderly snowballs just to avoid being taxed for singing about jelly beans. This will also introduce people on Mercury to light bulbs, which would satisfy their desire to eat lemonade pizza and hug dolphins at the same time.